I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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