Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
