Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
