So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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