Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
