i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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