"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
