Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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