well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
