is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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