I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
