Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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