It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You took a bar mat shot.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
