Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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