Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize