She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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