STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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