he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
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