I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I wish i was in the wii world.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize