apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
