i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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