you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
