and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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