if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
