I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize