omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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