he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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