Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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