I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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