I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
