he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize