Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
