the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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