I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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