i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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