Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
