If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
