Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
