all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize