So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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