That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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