I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
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