Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
