will power is for people who don't want to get laid
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
