Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
