Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize