I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
honey bunches of taint.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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