Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
