hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
