Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my phone needs a breathalizer
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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