I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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