We're like a lot better than the average bears
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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