o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
she looked like the before picture.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
