I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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