need another drink. this is the easiest way
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
