Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
