my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
