He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
its liver damage thursday
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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