I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
