I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
