i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
