she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize