Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
