Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
