i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
