Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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