First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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