Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
