i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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