i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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