i just wanna soil my oats bro
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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