last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Randomize
