"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
