1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
