I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
