that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
