I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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