party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
