I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
