i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
